Blog: The Chicks Uncorked
I’ve always had an ambivalent relationship with weddings. They’re a lengthy time commitment for attendees — at home my dogs will need to go out, and I’m sure to be missing something good on TV that night.
The majority of the couples are living under the same roof already so why not get married and not bother the rest of us?
The best wedding I’ve been to was a backyard cookout affair. The pregnant bride and groom married indoors before the guests arrived. It was a good time, even a few dogs in the mix. Less is more.
It just so happens there are some guilty pleasure TV shows devoted to weddings, which I most often enjoy while sipping a dry red blend (or two). “Say Yes To The Dress” is one of two aimed at picking out the right dress. The brides-to-be arrive with an entourage of moms, friends and relatives, who are there to give their opinions, and it often becomes contentious. The price of these wear-once frocks starts around $2500 but soars into the stratosphere.
Over the last few years the styles have trended toward sexy — so much so that Vegas would seem to be a more appropriate wedding venue than a church. While moms and grandmothers may lean toward a more traditional look, brides-to-be want to flaunt their cleavage and plenty of skin.
On a recent episode, one grandma viewed her granddaughter’s ample curves on full display and declared she looked like a floozy. Large money will be spent, and the bride assumes her dress will be remembered by her guests for the ages, but it will be completely forgotten long before it’s all paid for.
The other show, “Four Weddings,” pits four young women against one another in a competition as to whose wedding was the best. The prize is a fabulous honeymoon in an exotic locale. Starting as strangers, they evaluate each others’ wedding dress, food, venue and overall experience.
Behind each others’ backs snarkiness is rampant — “the food is cold,” “the centerpiece is disappointing” — while compliments abound face-to-face — “Love your dress!” Most of the weddings are very pricey, costing enough for a substantial down payment on a house. What intrigues me most is witnessing their monstrous egos, confident they deserve to be the center of everyone’s attention for the better part of a day and night.
Wedding guests must be “entertained” in a variety of ways, much of which are very goofy. The goal is achieving The Wow Factor. Before the winner is chosen, the four women declare they have made such long lasting friends with each other. Let’s check back after they all have watched the show. Friends? Not so much!
Once in a while a wedding will be presented sans alcohol. That guarantees that one will come in last in the voting. Of course dancing will be a factor, and I gotta say the dancing that appears on wedding videos ages poorly. Years hence, young relatives will guffaw watching grandma twerk.
Overall, the single quality most lacking in weddings in general is dignity. I’m thinking you may want to think twice before you invite me to your wedding.
To sum it up, I encourage more elopements. Seriously.
Authored by Ruby … get to know more about her and her fine time with wine! And check out her thoughts on this stale interior decorating trend, this stellar fashion trend, bedroom eyes and a bad boy in tights! And enjoy Some Noses Know!