Blog: The Chicks Uncorked
Nobody Asked Ruby, But …
I’m sipping a dry Riesling while I share my thoughts on men’s appendages. That is, what they’re wearing on their feet. For the last few years there’s been a trend of men wearing brown shoes with black or blue suits.
Huh? Even bridegrooms are guilty of this bad choice.
A worse trend is socklessness. Take a look at Ryan Seacrest displaying his skinny white ankles. A fashion nightmare, I tell you!
Poppy’s Splitting Hairs/Hares
My first pet peeve is a saying that causes a dry-heave response in my brain whenever I hear it. I’m not even sure if this is a national phrase or just confined to the vernacular of my southern Indiana roots. The saying is used to describe a person who does something totally out of character or completely unexpected. Such an individual would be described as “getting a wild hair up their ass.” I’m also not even sure if it’s hair or hare. Neither choice makes me feel less nauseated, so I guess it doesn’t matter in the end (no pun intended).
The last thing I want to imagine is someone I know (or even don’t know) having something lodged in their rectum that causes a complete change of behavior. I guess my real issue involves said person removing the obstruction – how long is it (if it’s a hair) or how big is it (if it’s a hare). OK, I think I’ve devoted more than enough words to this topic. If anyone knows the origins of the wild hair/hare saying, I’d love to know. On second thought, I don’t really want to know at all …
Trie Reminds Us To Mind Our Ss
Though I’ve become a lot happier and mellower in my later years, at the same time my list of pet peeves continues to expand.
First, was there some type of mass absence in elementary school when the proper use of the apostrophe was taught?? Sure, the way too common misuse of “its” and ”it’s” cues a major eye roll for me, but that’s nothing compared to the astonishment I feel every single time I see this one: the tendency for even otherwise very bright people to make a word plural by means of an apostrophe s. What the what?!
You’ll see this bewildering offense on signs in stores (eg, “Grape’s $1.89 a pound”); on social media (eg, “I am so excited to have landed two new client’s.”) and even in newspapers, though most have lost their legitimacy anyway, (eg, “The Benefit’s of Wine”). Even worse is when the person gets it right in one part of the sentence but then wrong a few words later (eg, “I love apricots and orange’s.”). And no, a family’s last name is not made plural with an apostrophe s either. I think you get my point. Time to calm my nerves with a splash.
Text Ruby At Your Own Risk
A constant pet peeve of mine is my relationship with my phone. It calls itself a “smart” phone and makes sure it’s always ahead of me on the learning curve.
My daughters taught me what I know so far, but I am well aware my knowledge has plateaued, much to the chagrin of said daughters. After the 798th time trying to explain the basics to me, their patience is now nil as I keep asking the same questions apparently.
Don’t Party With Poppy
My second pet peeve is linguistic in nature, as well. Every time I hear someone use the word ‘party’ as a verb, I must suppress an internal scream that grows louder by the year. If you’re not sure what I mean, let me provide an example. Instead of saying, “I went to a great party tonight,” an abuser of this pet peeve might say, “I partied all night.” What’s the difference, you might be asking. And that’s an excellent question. My hatred of party-as-a-verb can’t be explained so easily. It’s more of an attitude.
First, from a scientific perspective, my educated guess would be that the amount of people using party-as-a-verb who actually live up to the phrase would be about 5%. Hear me out. I once heard a choral group talk about how they were planning to ‘party’ after a competition. But alcohol wasn’t allowed at the event, so the party beverage was going to be iced tea. IMHO, you should be forbidden to use party-as-a-verb if the most decadent drink available includes stevia.
Second, I don’t understand why another phrase hasn’t taken its place. I mean, we no longer say ‘groovy,’ ‘gnarly’ or ‘jiggy,’ so why does party-as-a-verb persist? Pop lingo changes so quickly that phrases that were popular just a few years ago – chillaxing, for example – now get an eye roll from my teenage daughter. So why hasn’t party-as-a-verb gone to the same graveyard of hip phrases that are now used regularly by the Karens of the world?
OK, enough of this pet peeve talk. I now need a glass of my favorite red blend to soothe my linguistic angst …
We See You, Trie
A doozy of a peeve for me is when I’m walking down the street, a person is coming toward me, no one else is around and yet this individual pretends not to see me. Why? Why is a split second of acknowledgment too much to ask for? It doesn’t have to be even a smile, though, come on, would that kill you? I’m looking for just a pleasant expression, maybe a nod, the briefest of eye contact, something to note you see me, another human being.
Now, some parts of the country have friendlier reputations than others, and I’ve spent plenty of time in both, and maybe city folk are a little more aloof and wary than others, but it’s not cool. My disdain for this is compounded exponentially when I’m walking one of my adorable dogs and there’s still no acknowledgment of me or my precious furry child. Sure maybe it’s tougher in COVID times to display this connection, but possibly it’s even more important now to show some kindness.